I'm Chris, I'm 21. This blog mostly consists of the little things in life that make me laugh. I could write a paragraph about myself, but then, it doesn't really do justice to the complexity of what makes up an identity to attempt to sum it up in a few words. If you would like to know anything about me, just ask.

 

e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

(Source: heathledgers)

carryonmy-assbutt:

spoken-not-written:

morgrana:

spoken-not-written:

what if virginity was actually a visible thing like when you have sex for the first time your virginity comes out of your ear in the form of a slug

image

image

you thought we didn’t have a gif for that, didn’t you

sourwolves:

sourwolves:

some guy just knocked on my door and said “ben?” last time i checked i am not a ben

he just did it again and i had a moment of self doubt like

maybe i am ben